


Enter Kildo

by little_dhampir



Series: The many adventures of Kildo the Great [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Dildos, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Sex Toys, Smut, seriously this is nothing but filth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 17:37:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17923334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir
Summary: Merlin can't resist trying out the dragon dildo he drunk bought online a few days ago.





	Enter Kildo

**Author's Note:**

> For Penn and the Merlin Chat, without you guys this story would have never been written :)
> 
> Also thanks Penn and Devon for beta reading this fic :)

Merlin should have known drunk online shopping was not a good idea, but that's the thing about being drunk; you don’t care about good or bad ideas, you just do whatever you want to do and if you are lucky enough you don’t remember what exactly you have done the next day.

 

Merlin most certainly couldn’t remember what he had bought online when he had come home from Gwaine’s birthday party last Saturday, he couldn’t even remember buying anything to begin with, so he was majorly surprised when the postman dropped off a package for him on Wednesday. It was delivered to his workplace where curiosity got the best of him. He couldn’t help but open the ordinary brown box that was delivered without any labels on it and immediately regretted his decision as realisation dawned on him. 

 

His cheeks turned bright red and Merlin quickly looked around if any of the shoppers in his antiques store had witnessed what had just happened. Luck was on his side because nobody actually was close enough to the counter to see inside the box. Last thing he needed was to give one of the old, posh ladies who loved to come by a heart attack because this would be quite embarrassing to explain to the paramedics.

 

There was a dildo in the box. Not just any dildo, from the quick glance Merlin had taken it was big and weirdly shaped. Suddenly he remembered Gwaine showing him pictures of some scary looking sex toys at his party, there was something called a Dragon’s dick or whatever. Gwaine had laughed and told Merlin to get one, seeing as the Dragon, or Pendragon, he really wanted was out of his reach. Merlin had laughed along, tipsy already and on the verge of being drunk, not actually interested in spending so much money on something so grotesque looking. But his subconscious must have been interested because there was no other explanation for his purchase. He knew he had to return it, he wasn’t that desperately horny to actually use that thing.

 

Despite his best intentions Merlin did not drop the package off on his way home, but actually took it back to his empty flat. His roommate Gwen was away for the week, a romantic getaway with her boyfriend, so Merlin had the place to himself. He told himself he was going to send it back tomorrow instead. He just wanted to have a proper look at it first so he could have a reminder to never drink again and maybe get a boyfriend instead of pining after his best friend. He really needed to get Arthur out of his head (and fantasies) and start dating again.

 

Making himself a cup of tea, Merlin sat down on the couch and slowly started to open the box again. Inside was a smaller package with the label proudly displaying what was inside. The Dragon Dick 500. Merlin didn’t know what the 500 stood for, probably just a term to make it sound even more imposing, but just the words Dragon Dick alone made Merlin feel certain things he wasn’t sure he was supposed to feel. Instead of just displaying the sex toy, the label showed a full dragon with the dildo protruding from his lower regions. Strangely enough, the dragon reminded Merlin of the lego dragon he and Arthur had built as kids. It had taken them ages to finish it before they had named the dragon Kilgharrah. Arthur still had it in his flat, a reminder of more innocent times and thoughts than Merlin was having right now.

 

He wasn’t going to open the package, there was no way he wanted to actually see that dildo in person. Besides if he opened it he couldn’t send it back, used or unused. Putting the box down Merlin started making dinner, but his mind kept wandering to the box anyway. The box with the dragon dick and the dragon in Arthur’s flat and Arthur and Arthur’s dick, which he had never seen in a sexual situation but could only imagine it’s thickness and oh my god Merlin was getting horny, popping a boner like a teenager. His appetite was nearly non-existent and his curiosity only grew and grew as his dick decided to have a life of its own. Glancing at the box again, Merlin could only wonder what the dildo would feel like. He missed getting fucked till he couldn’t stand anymore and he felt like he was getting split in two.

 

Fuck it, he thought as he realised he would never be able to get rid of that tiny voice in his head asking ‘what if’, if he just sent the box back. He had bought it for a reason, a drunk and lonely reason but still, he might as well congratulate his drunk self on his choice and actually try the sex toy that had been invading his thoughts. It’s not like anyone would be able to tell what he was going to do tonight. Besides lots of people used sex toys, Merlin himself had a small dildo hidden away underneath his bed, just nothing that size. 

 

Merlin finally gave in and opened not only the box, but the package within the box and soon enough he held the imposing dick in his hands. It was even bigger than he thought it would be, with turns and ridges that were probably intended to reach spaces within him a normal dick couldn’t. It had the same brownish colour Kilgharrah has and for a second Merlin thought of naming it after the mighty dragon at Arthur’s place. Did people name their sex toys? Like some guys named their dicks? But Kilgharrah sounded kind of scary, maybe he should stick with something cuter to take the fear of actually having it inside of him away, something like Killy or … Kildo! Merlin had to laugh at his own thoughts, his excitement and nervousness at the prospect of using it was showing when he was even rambling in his thoughts.

 

Merlin decided to just use it instead of overthinking the naming process, but not here in the living room. He might have been home alone, but he was sure using it on the sofa would mean never being able to look into Gwen’s eyes again without turning several shades of red. Besides, he had a nice big bed with lube in his nightstand, so using it anywhere else would be impossible. Merlin might have liked it rough every now and then, but not rough enough to leave any internal damage, which he would most certainly get from using that monster dick without anything to slick it.

 

In his bedroom Merlin quickly shed his clothes, after throwing the dildo on his bed and chuckling at seeing it bounce, before climbing on top of his soft bedding himself. Looking down, his dick was still fairly interested even if overthinking things earlier in his living room had taken away his strongest urges. Merlin decided to just start slow, his hands wandering over his chest and pinching his own nipples, wondering what Arthur would think of him like that and imagined his best friend’s strong hands playing with the sensitive nips. Merlin couldn’t get off just from touching them but he still liked to give them some attention. His dick started to get harder again as Merlin kept playing with his nipples for several teasing minutes before his right hand wandered lower till it reached its destination. 

 

He started to slowly stroke his dick with barely any pressure, just moving his hand up and down to kickstart one of his favourite fantasies, which involved Arthur and some really hot forbidden handjob. The fantasy has barely changed since he was a teenage boy realising he was gay and in love with his best friend.

 

The barely there pressure felt amazing. Merlin loved to tease himself when he had the time and wasn't too lazy to just quickly wank in the shower. Spreading his legs further, Merlin started touching his balls, letting just the fingertips glide over them till he nearly drove himself wild with lust. He quickly switched hands, specifically used his left, which made it so much easier to pretend he wasn't doing this on his own but with some unknown lover that knew exactly how he liked it best. 

 

It didn't matter that most days the unknown lover turned into Arthur, Merlin had learned long ago to separate his fantasy from reality so he could still look into Arthur's beautiful blue eyes without feeling too much shame over using him for his own sexual pleasure.

 

Soon enough the teasing became too much for Merlin, he wanted more than just his own hand. Quickly he grabbed for the lube and coated his right fingers with it. His left hand went back to his neglected dick as his right one reached behind his balls to touch his hole. It had been too long since Merlin had been fucked or even used his old dildo or fingers, so sinking even just one finger in felt like nearly too much. How the hell was he going to fit the whole dragon cock in?

 

Merlin slowly moved his finger in and out before adding a second one. His dick had started to realese precome on his belly, the sticky fluid obscenely glued the hair underneath his belly button together. When he felt himself relax and open up a little bit more he added a third one and scissored them inside his ass; he crooked them and shuddered as he rubbed against his prostate. He always loved that part. Normally three fingers would be enough to prepare himself for a proper fuck, but that dildo was both longer and thicker than anything he had ever had inside of him so he added a fourth finger.

 

“Fuck,” he moaned at the fullness he was currently experiencing. His nerves were on fire and his cock was weeping precome like crazy. Merlin had to actively stop himself from coming before he even had a chance to use his purchase. Slowly removing his fingers felt like torture as his now empty hole clenched around nothing. 

 

He quickly grabbed the toy and the lube, unable to wait any longer, and slicked it up generously. Some of it was dripping on the bedding, but Merlin didn't care, too eager to have his hole stuffed again. The toy looked still scary, but he was so horny he couldn't even be scared anymore. All he could think of was fucking himself on it, so without any further delays he brought it between his legs. He used both hands to glide it between his cheeks and press it against his waiting hole. Taking a deep breath he slowly pushed it inside.

 

He couldn't hold back a loud moan as the Dragon Dick spread him wide open, wider than he had even been opened before. It wasn't even halfway in and Merlin felt completely overwhelmed. His insides were burning, but with each inch that the thing pushed further in, Merlin felt the purest of pleasure rippling through him. He didn't even need to move it much to stimulate his prostate, one of the ridges pressed against it perfectly, making it hard for Merlin to concentrate on pushing it all the way in. 

 

After what felt like hours - tortuous, pleasurable hours - the Dragon Dick finally bottomed out and Merlin could do nothing but hold it in as he tried to get his breathing under control. Even just having it inside of him was the most intense feeling he had ever experienced and he was glad for using so much lube. That thing nearly split him apart in all the best ways and just clenching around it, feeling the uneven structure of it massaging his insides, was nearly enough to send him over the edge.

 

For a second he just lay there, enjoying how open and wide spread he felt before his body needed more. Slowly he started to pull on the Dragon Dick and another moan left his lips as he pushed it back in immediately. There was no way he could move it around too much, not in the position he lay in, but that was ok, just those tiny thrusts were enough to drive him crazy.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled, unable to be quiet as he wrecked his own hole with the dildo. Pulling out and pushing in faster and harder, he could see stars dancing behind his closed eyelids. He could only imagine how he looked like right now, with his legs spread wide open and both his hands pumping the Dragon Dick inside his needy hole over and over again. Next time he would need to use it in a different position so he wouldn't need both hands to slam it in; maybe he could stick it to the wall and just fuck himself on it, or ride it, or someone could use it on him. Merlin couldn't help but think of Arthur being the one to fuck him with the Dragon Dick and that was all it took for Merlin to lose control. 

 

Arching off the bed and pressing the dildo hard against his prostate Merlin came all over his own stomach, his cock exploding untouched. Waves and waves of ecstasy rippled through him and Merlin couldn't remember ever coming this hard or this long.

 

He knew he made some really unintelligent noises, but nobody was there to hear him anyway. It felt like ages before the height passed and his body started to calm down. His heart was beating like crazy and his stomach and upper body were a mess of sweat and come, sticking disgustingly to his body hair. He knew he should probably shower, but it felt impossible to move his blissed out body and he wasn't sure he could take the extra stimulation that removing the toy would bring.

 

There were tears in his eyes and Merlin blinked them away as he slowly started to come back to reality. He was a mess and so was his bedding, fluids running from his body and gushing from his still clenching hole, leaving wet and sticky stains underneath Merlin.

 

That had been intense. Merlin didn't even know he could come like that, with his cock untouched. He had always enjoyed getting fingered and fucked, but fucking himself with the Dragon Dick had unleashed something within and despite feeling incredible sore right now, he couldn't wait for another round with the toy. But not now, not tonight. Merlin turned his head and realised he had spent more time enjoying his purchase than he thought he had. It was nearly time for him to go to sleep, he could already feel his body's need to rest. Before he could do so though he needed to clean himself up a bit and change the sheets. 

 

With shaky hands, Merlin slowly started to pull the Dragon Dick out of his abused hole. He couldn't help but make a hissing sound as his body reacted to the unexpected stimulation again. If he were a few years younger he would have gone straight to round two, but not tonight. With an obscene plop the toy was free from his body, leaving a trail of lube behind. Bringing it closer to his face Merlin blushed at the realisation that that monster thing had just been inside of him.

 

With a sigh he got up to get ready for bed, taking the Dragon Dick with him to the bathroom so he could clean it for a repeat performance tomorrow because Merlin couldn't lie to himself, there would most definitely be another round tomorrow. Maybe he should drunk shop more often in the future.


End file.
